Overheard at Estrogen Estates

Time to Make the Donuts,,,again.
HOT DOGS!!!!
No, you are going to live here.
Do I have to wake up? You are a distraction.
Why can't we just put little red hearts on it and call it a Valentine tree and leave it up?
If you like it then you should have put a ring on it.
And then I'm going to poop butterflies.
Quit licking Beast please.
Who the HELL invented the BCS?
I LOVE MY JOB,,no really.
Would this have gone better if you had a REAL hat on?
Would you get me out of jail if I got arrested for dancing naked under the moon?
Gone. They are gone. Missing. Not present. G-O-N-E.
Can you learn a hard lesson the easy way?
Team Edward or Team Jacob? Edward,,of course Edward.

Life goes on at Estrogen Estates. I love my resident Hillbilly. The right shoulder is trying to relocate itself to my left knee. State is due in the building any day now. Tile and carpet on the way. Must get the painting finished. Staff ,,insane. Longhorn cookies,,delicious. Bed,,right over there and calling my name. Come see me!!!

Listening to: American Idol
Reading: State regs for AL facilities

A Mothers Love

I called Maggie Wednesday evening to check in, see where she was, if she was going to require dinner, what her evening plans were etc. A mom call. She told me she was at the Navy recruiting center. My heart stopped. "Why are you at the Navy recruiting center and get your arse out of there NOW the answer is HELLNO and you better be running by now". Wench didn't miss a beat,,"We'll talk about it later". Still no heart beat from me,," There is nothing to talk about have you left there yet you better be driving get yourself home right this minute what the hell are you thinking Maggie don't do this to me why aren't you already home whose idea was this are you still in there I will have you declared incompetent and incapacitate you myself you cannot do this are you still there?" By the time she actually got home I was frothing at the mouth and my head was rotating and spinning. Yes I know I'm being irrational. I'm her mother it's my right to be irrational.

See,,here's the deal. What I tried to explain to her and did a pisspoor job of is that I cannot handle the idea of losing her or Mallory. My heart and my brain will not allow that type of thought. I have spent every waking and sleeping moment of the last 24 years praying that my girls will be safe. They are just about the only truly good thing ,,the absolute very best thing,,the most incredible thing,,I have ever done and I cannot lose them. I cannot. I close my eyes and see the miles and miles of little white crosses at the cemetary in DC and I know that each one represents some Mommy somewhere that will never be whole again. I know that each and every mother represented hoped and prayed that her love would be strong enough to keep her precious child safe and bring them back home to her,,and it wasn't enough. She got a nicely folded flag and a beautifully written letter and all she wanted, all she wants, the only thing she ever needed was for her baby to walk through the door,,and it will never happen again. I cannot be that Mommy. I know it's selfish. I recognize this. I won't even try and deny it. My children,,they are my life. They are the reason I breathe. There are not words to describe a Mothers Love. Their existence is what makes my heart beat. Yes ,,these girls of mine make me crazy. They irritate me to the very core of my being. They ARE the core of my being. I would lay down my own life for them. I would move heaven and earth for them. I would take on Satan herself for them. I cannot lose them. I am not that strong. What strength I have comes from them,,without them I could not go on. A Mothers Love is not conditional. There are no strings. It is complete and overwhelming and incapacitating. It begins when they begin and it is without end. It fills my lungs and takes my breath away. It is the smile that is always there deep inside just because they are always there. It is my backbone. A Mothers Love is what makes a Mother. It's in the cells. It runs through the veins. It reproduces itself, magnifies itself. It turns us into overly protective grizzly bears and mushy lumps. It completely and totally distorts our vision and short circuits our thought processes. Normal responses are diverted through a MommyCenter and words and actions come out biased and warped. If the government could find a way to tap into Mother Love it would be the most lethal weapon ever imagined. Mothers Love is what carries these children up and down stairs a thousand and twelve times. It keeps us going without sleep for days on end. It takes away our own hunger and feeds our children first. It finds a way when the world tells us No,,or That's not possible. This thing,,this Mothers Love,,it is remarkable and uncontrollable and right now this day this moment,,it doesn't like the idea of my Maggie being anywhere near anything that has ever had any contact with anything remotely connected to anything that even has the same letters has the military. I don't like it. I don't trust it. I don't want it. I want Maggie AT HOME. With me. At least in my area code. Where I can at least try and keep up with her and the multitude of angels it takes to watch over her. I can try. I'm her Mommy.

Tis the Season,,to be sick and wounded

Christmas, this year, at Estrogen Estates was all that it should be ,,and MORE. The tree was a vision of girlyness. The lights were artfully placed by the girls in a red and white peppermint stripe pattern spiraling all the way up the full 8plus feet of the tree. The ornaments hand selected from the box of eleventythree billion. Only the sparkly red and white ones made the cut this year. They draped the fireplace mantel in more sparkly red and white berries and beads and nestled some of the heavy wooden pieces among the glitz. It looked amazing. I sat and watched,,well actually stood and cooked,,while the transformation was taking place. We watched A Christmas Story and then cranked up my Christmas playlist. It was as close to a Hallmark card moment as you can get at this house.
Professor was so excited about HIS tree. His very own special inside tree right next to HIS fireplace and HIS bed. HIS tree covered in shiny delicious new things to destroy. How great it was to have a tree right by his bed. You could just see the appreciation in his little face. THANKS MOM. Little demon. It took him two days to undecorate and mangle the shiny glittery toys and lovely chewy things we had placed on HIS tree. There were sequins on his bed. on the couch and scattered like confetti across the hardwood floors. He was so happy. Mission Accomplished.
I got all three boys Christmas sweaters this year. It was something new and almost fatal for us all. Professor got his on first and was very proud of it. He rather enjoys showing off his studly physique in a sweater. Beast was not so sure. He had never worn "clothes" before and looked a bit like the Incredible Hulk with his long white hair and lions ruff sticking out of the sweater. He didn't move for a bit,,just kind of shifted side to side and glared at me like I had lost my mind. I could see the horror and confusion on his little face. "For real, Mom? I have to wear this? For real?" Vander was the last one dressed. I cornered the little spasmotic critter and slipped his sweater on him. He just stood there. Paralyzed. Couldn't move. Wouldn't even walk. Just locked up and stood there. Then,,he keeled over. Just went completely dogatonic and fell over. I laughed until I couldn't breathe. I stood him back up and he tiptoed around like the sweater was going to attack him if he wasn't careful. He was terrified of it and it was actually ON him. So damn funny. All of the boys gathered and looked at each other. I think they were having a pity party.
Christmas Eve night the girls and I loaded into the car with Christmas tunes blaring and rode around looking at Christmas lights. Tradition. Great fun. When we finished I dropped Mags off to meet a friend, deposited Mallory at her car so she could go finish her evening,,and I went to the only open store I could find for a big giant diet coke in a styro cup,,snagged one for Lisa while I was there because,,it was Christmas Eve and who doesn't need a big giant diet coke in a styro cup on Christmas Eve? I dropped it at her house,,she was still wrapping presents because she had shopped beyond all reason and good sense and is probably still wrapping gifts. I was demonstrating for her crowd the boys reactions to their sweaters and when it got to the part about Vander falling over in his dogatonic trance,,I did a perfect imitation and fell over sideways,,,and dislocated my right shoulder. I didn't know at the time that it was dislocated,,just that it hurt like hell. I came home with my right arm dangling at my side and in great pain. Maggie was here and wanted to haul me to the ER. Absolutely not!! I was not going to spend Christmas Eve night in the ER. It would feel better in the morning. Yes I was sure. A hot bath and some Ibuprofen and I would be good as new.
Didn't sleep at all that night. Shoulder was pounding. No way to position it that didn't cause excrutiating pain. The next morning I had to shower and dress and drive 6 hours to Longview. I couldn't even move my fingers. Make up was a joke. Hair,,impossible. Took an hour to get clothes on. Cried most of the way to Longview. I'm not a wuss about pain. I usually just acknowledge that it is there and then recategorize it into a not important part of the brain and keep going. I've broken my toes many times,,set them myself,,and shove a shoe on and keep going. This was different. It would not be recategorized. It hurt to breathe. There wasn't enough ibuprofen. My hand and shoulder started swelling. Made it to Longview somehow. Everyone there tried to talk me into going to the ER. No thank you. I don't like doctors. I don't like ERs. It would go away. Another sleepless night at the hotel in Longview. More tears. Daddy picked me up the next morning and announced we were going to the doctor. Initial protests met with " Shut up and get in the car Martha." I got in the car,,had the thing xrayed. It was completely out of the socket. Dislocated. My stubborness had made it worse. Too swollen by this point to get back into place easily. Three wrenching bone crunching attempts later it was back where it belonged. Felt better almost immediately. Not good,,but better. A lovely black immobilizing sling was procured and recovery began. Merry Christmas. A week later I removed the sling per instructions to move it around a bit,,,AND SEE IF IT POPS BACK OUT. You cannot imagine the joy and anticipation I felt about that idea. Let's just see if we can feel that pain again,,yeah,,wheee fun.
We survived the holidays. Had a grand time actually.
Time now to get ready for work. Been a nice long weekend away. Not ready to go back in and face it. Would rather have the weekend all over again. Someday.