When your day starts with urine splattered down your pants,,and it isn't your own,,it should be a signal that the day might not be grand. When that same day ends with blood spray and spatter in your hair, across your face, down your arms and all over your scrubs,,I think you can officially call it a not so good day. That was my Sunday. Back at the hospital for more fun yesterday,,actually it was great fun. All of it. Even the blood spray. What can I say? I love the adrenaline rush of a good trauma situation. It's hard to recall the negatives right now. I'm sitting here on a gorgeous fall morning with incredible coffee. There are two adoring dogs at my feet and I have the largest white poofball of a cat in my lap . Pirate is online via somewhere way way far away and we're getting to exchange emails "live". He'll be home in a week. Mallory will be home soon,,18 days,,,roughly 432 hours,,am I excited? Ummmmmmmmmmmm YES. So many good things all at once.
Today I must find the perfect Halloween costume. We got the official "OK" from management yesterday. We can dress up at work. It was suggested that I go as a nurse. Duh. Actually I had considered getting one of the rather risque nursey outfits and wearing it with a witch hat and going as,,,myself. Another option considered but deemed too provocative was "The Easy Button" from the Staples commercials. That would have been oh so much fun. A pirate wench,,not a far stretch on that one either,,but probably a bit too much for work. I'll have to go look today and see what I can come up with. Never can tell.
Sara is getting "vibes" about my love life. She's a bit like me in that respect. She's very perceptive and picks up on "things". She knew well before I did that I would end up with the Pirate. Right now the vibes she's getting are negative and she told me to "stop it". I'm not sure what to stop. I need more clarification. The only thing I can think of would be Robert. He's regretting his decision to leave and I'm letting him regret it. He isn't happy with the pig-eyed troll and I'm glad. He can't come back to me, though. Not now. He lied. He cheated. He can be tormented and reminded of what he had. He cannot come back.
Maggie,,we're coping. I'm going to find a second opinion. I cannot sit and do nothing and wait until January to see if maybe he did in fact get all of the demon that was growing inside her. She's my Maggie. I must do something.
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.

Reading: World Without End
Listening: Mayan Bike

I love fall

Early mornings are my favorite time of the day no matter the season,,but early mornings in the fall are just perfection. Crisp air, pumpkin coffee in a heavy, chunky mug, sitting on the patio with my feet tucked under me to keep them warm while I sip on coffee and watch the sun rise. Another perfect day in the paradise that is Austin, Texas.

I think this evening I will light the outdoor fireplace and have my wine and read on the patio. New book to be collected today. I cannot wait. I will be worthless until I consume it. Years ago,,,years and years and years ago,,Ken Follett took a huge step away from his norm and delivered Pillars of the Earth. A wonderfully engrossing tale of the building of a cathedral in medieval England. It was an amazing romp of a story and when it ended it left the reader wanting more. Now, nearly twenty years later,,he delivers the continuation of the story,,World Without End. With any luck at all I will possess a First Edition before this day ends. I must read fast,,I have promised to share the book with another. I suppose I have a bit of extra time as he must first read Pillars of the Earth. I'm not sure of his reading speed but my guess is I will have time to digest my new find before he requires it.

I'm trying so very hard not to count down the days until ,,well until so many things happen. Mallory will be here,,right here,,,well right over there in her room in let's see,,24 days? Can that be correct? I'll get to crack open her door and see her sleeping head under the covers in just 24 days? Pirate will be here,,,I don't know when,but soon. It was supposed to be in 9 days,,might be 16. Not sure,,but soon. Very soon.

Went to a wonderful party this past weekend. It was a Sweet Sixteen celebration for a very good friends daughter. She looked lovely. Red and white satin ball gown,,tiara,,roses everywhere. Fred in a tux. Mariachi bands,,dancing Moms,,,tiny dancing girls in their own miniature ball gowns,,,excellent Scotch,,,most amazing date to accompany me. The dress works. A grand evening.

Life is good in Austin at Estrogen Estates. A little lacking in Estrogen at the moment,,but that is a self-correcting situation. It will change very shortly.

I got cancelled this morning. Again. Sitting here drinking my Double Chocolate coffee when the phone rang. Not entirely bad news. That gives me a three day weekend. I can enjoy that. No problem. Brain was already whirring in preparation for the mental strain that work is and I don't know how to shut it off so,,I start thinking. For those of you that know me you would all agree that for me,,at times,,thinking is a dangerous game,,especially when it's fueled by Double Chocolate coffee. So the coffee and I,,and me and myself,,we all started thinking. It started with what I needed to do this weekend and could get a jump start on with my unplanned day off. The yard being first on that list. The brain then jumped to the days when I had a yard boy. Actually,,a yard crew. They would come with all of their equipment and whiz bang around the yard and make incredible amounts of noise and PRESTO,,the beds were weeded and the shrubs trimmed and the lawn groomed and all I had to do was watch. Fast forward a few years,,very cute young man would show up to mow. Maggie had a serious crush on the yard boy. She would climb the magnolia tree and just watch him. She would carry glass after glass of ice water out to him and just look at him. Fast forward a few more years,,no yard boy,,no yard crew. I purchased a lawn mower without a clue how to even run the damn thing. Walked around it ,,stared at it,,attempted to mind meld with it,,finally got the thing running and have been taking care of my own lawn ever since. At this point in the thinking ,,the news came on about baseball playoffs,,flashback,,19 years ago,,driving to a Junior League meeting,,Tuesday night,,tiny baby Maggie left at home with her Daddy and real babysitter Mallory,,the World Series on. I had on pearls,,and a cashmere twin set,,and a bow in my hair. There were elaborately carved pumpkins on the front porch. I had spent that day having lunch with the big girls,,while the maid looked after my little girls and took care of the house. I had manicured nails. Flash forward,,today I'm making preparations for a road trip,,on a Harley,,to a bike rally in Galveston. No pearls. No twin set. No manicured nails. No bow. A do-rag. Leather chaps. Pedicure in blood red. What would "the ladies that lunch" think? If they were smart,,they would be jealous. Yes,,they would be jealous.

Mallory has cricket-spiders. They are Major Girl Dance worthy creatures. They look like really ugly mutant spiders. They hop up to 3 ft in any direction. Alien bugs. I've added steel toed boots and cartons of insecticide to her Christmas list. Our family is accustomed to "chicken spiders" but these nasty beings do not go on any acceptable list.

Maggie seems to have survived her surgical ordeal. Some of the highlights,,the purple paper Sumo gown that attached to the wall and filled with hot air,,the lovely blue hat that I had to tie a knot in to keep it on her head,,,two pound weight loss. Downside,,she still feels like crap most of the time,,,zero energy level,,,a semi foggy state,,,no appetite,,lethargy. Balance that with,,,cancer gone,,,we can live with a lethargic foggy skinnier Maggie.

Work. I don't even know how to describe it or what to say. Monday,,ICU,,,Sergio back from an extended leave for supposed work-injury sustained turning the patient I turn BY MYSELF every damn day just fine. He came back in a foul ugly mood and decided Rachel and I would be his victims du jour. Picked the wrong two victims. We may look like sweet little blondes ,,we aren't. Two blondes against one nearly incompetent, hard of hearing asshole. NO contest. To further demonstrate his overwhelming intellectual prowess he joined forces with the antichrist that is Napoleon. He and Napoleon decided they were going to "approach" me together yesterday about my transgressions,,I woke up breathing being the most significant one. I got wind of this upcoming encounter and decided to up the ante and bring them to my corner instead of being taken to theirs. I called HR and the CEO and the DON and asked for a meeting with all parties. Sergio and Napoleon nearly fainted. It was worth it all just to see the look on their pained little faces when it was announced that I had requested the meeting. Bottom line,,those two got reprimanded for unprofessional conduct bordering on harassment. It will not be tolerated. I walked out with a smile,,and several daggers in my back I'm sure,,but with a smile. I do not like being threatened. Push me into a corner,,and I will win. Find another victim,,this one has sharp claws, a big attitude, an excellent knowledge of workplace law and a long memory. SURPRISE!! And that was the good part of the week at work.

Countdown continues,,,
Party is this weekend. Mallory comes home in THIRTY DAYS!!! Pirate will be here in two weeks. All very livable amounts of time. Thirty days. I'm already smiling. If she brings even ONE of those cricket spiders with her,,,well I'll love her anyways. I'll just think of something wicked and vile to do to her AND the buggies.

Post-Op

Surgery went well. Larger area to be removed than anticipated. More clearly defined than anticipated. He is virtually 100% certain he got it all. I can live with that report. No follow-up chemo or radiation needed. She bounced back from the anesthesia very well. She's resting now. Surrounded by boyfriend, her Daddy, friends, flowers and chocolate. Life is good. I can almost relax. Almost.

Horoscope for today

"Just like peanut butter and jelly or Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire, you and your best friend make an excellent combination right now! The two of you generate wonderful energy when you get together, and people enjoy watching you two in action more than you might realize. Acknowledge this attention, and go ahead and play up to it! Charm the waiter, make the cab driver blush, and work that dynamic duo magic. It makes everyday activities so much more fun."

So what should Lisa and I do with a mandate like this? In years past we would have called Mike and Mike for a night out. We would have gone for HOT DOGS!!! We would have made a Taboo run. Hmmmmm,,,,maybe we should do it all again?

Hook 'em, Boomer?

Stood at the closet this morning trying to decide which scrubs to wear. It was THE GAME. Texas/OU. What does a girl do when she loves them both? I contemplated wearing the tops to one set and bottoms to the other. That would have looked lovely. I decided on the burnt orange,,glad I did. We played well today. Much better than I predicted. I thought we would have our dignity handed to us. We did not. I do not think the wrong team won. OU has a much better coached team than Texas. The game ended correctly. UT did well though. Very well. Our herd of cats that is the offensive line played better than average for a herd of cats. Our Matador defense kept us in the game. Our good ole baby boy QB ,,well,,,he will not be mistaken for VY anytime soon,,in or out of uniform. We did well,,considering.
During the middle of the game we had a "code" at the hospital. Patient found blue,,not breathing,,no pulse,,no BP. We call that dead. DRT. Dead Right There. Assuming room temperature. Race to the room,,,,CPR, Intubate, Fluids In, Epi, Atropine, Epi, Epi, Epi, CPR,,nothing,,Epi, Epi,,,CPR,,nothing. DRT. A smurf. Damn it all. Cleaning up the room from the code,,getting ready to call the funeral home,,,physician was there and pronounced,,,and ,,MOTHER OF GOD,,a pulse on the monitor. FRANKENSTEIN!!!! SHE'S ALIVE!!! Start the code again,,,,
a pulse,,,dopamine,,bicarb,,,epi,,,levophed,,jesusmaryandjoseph,,,bag,,bag,,,get labs,,get the fluids going again,,,holy shit batman,,,she's ok. I'm not sure the code team ever will be,,,but she's ok.
And after an adrenaline rush of a football game,,,and an adrenaline rush of a code,,,and email from my Pirate,,,I'm supposed to come home,,sleep,,and go back and do it all again??? Yeah,,do it all again,,,tomorrow.
Maggie and Mallory are playing in DC. I got pictures of Mallory. I can't smell her,,but I can see her. My Mallory. She's alive and well. I saw proof.
Time for me to turn it in, tuck it in and shut it down,,

Listening to: Celtic Women
Reading: your kidding,,right?

Still counting down,,,

Counting Down

3 days til Texas/OU
9 days til Maggie has surgery
17 days til party with the dress on
29 days til my Pirate comes home
44 days til my Mallory comes home

,,,,but who's counting?

me. I'm counting. Every minute of every day I'm counting. Every breath of every minute,,,I'm counting. My Mallory will be here very soon. Should I start cooking now? When would it be appropriate to start watching out the window? If I filled her room with flowers now,,,would they still be beautiful when she got here? Who's counting? Me. Her mommy. The one that misses her beyond comprehension. She's coming home.

Ok,,so maybe all men should be like Horatio. Or Grissom. Or my Pirate.